EXPERIENTIAL DATES ARE MAKING COUPLES DITCH THE USUAL DINNER OR COFFEE
Meeting at a café for a cup of coffee, dressing up and going out for a candlelight dinner, watching a film with your special someoneâthese are some of the most common (and boring) date ideas that we often resort to.
It doesn't matter if the relationship is new and sparks are flying everywhere or if it is old and the partners have found comfort in silence; we hardly experiment when it comes to date outings. For many of us, going to an art gallery or museum is considered to be an out-of-the-box idea.
But things are changing now, and so is couples' perspective towards date ideas.
Now, people in love or seeing love want to do a lot more than just spend time with their partner over a meal. Experiential dating is on the rise as people are indulging in pottery dates, painting dates, pizza-making dates, and what not.
The new date trend
"Gone are the days when going for a date meant dinner or a drink at the bar. That's boring! People are going for experiential dates, which would mean a visit to an amusement park, pottery session, a chocolate factory tour, and more," Aarti Chawla, a Mumbai-based relationship psychotherapist and life coach tells India Today.
People are eager to go all out when it comes to dating now and many are curating such experiences.
"Experiential dates are the much-needed flavour and excitement in the dating lives of people these days. Hosting scent blending and candle-making workshops has shown us that couples are hungry for unique adventures that go beyond the same old dinner-and-a-movie, which is overdone and kind of feels the same each time," says Vineet Arora, founder, Rad Living and Rad Experiences.
Alisha, co-founder, Sip & Paint by Artnest, agrees and adds that dating has really changed in the last couple of years, especially after the Covid lockdown.
For people who have just started dating, such experiences only help them know how well they can hit it off or not, perhaps.
"I think it's a great way to break the ice and get comfortable around each other," she adds.Â
For Anirudh Motwani, founder, Vivre Experiences, the concept of experiential dating is here to stay.
"There is a space that exists between your usual movie or dinner date and a short holiday or staycation, which couples crave. The idea of having something within the city limits which can give you the sort of high that a vacation would normally provide with limited time and budget has its audience," he shares.
Why the popularity
Talking about why couples are ditching usual dates and opting for experiential dates, Aarti Chawla explains, "It gives an opportunity for them to explore each other in a more real setup and not a conventional conversation over food or drinks setup. It's usually a non-boring activity filled with the thrill of rides or the accomplishment of creating an artwork. People enjoy it."
The relationship expert adds, "This indicates they are open to exploring the possibilities of a little bit of romance, adventure, and vulnerability in their dates rather than just 'talk'. The creation of painting or sculpting fabricates lifelong memories. But it can be avoided if it's your first date."
Even Vineet Arora feels that the traditional date scenarios often revolve around commonplace activities, which, despite the novelty of the setting, offer a similar experience.
Experiential dating injects a dose of thrill and creativity into relationships. Plus, who doesn't love learning something new together?
Further, sharing her experience, Alisha says, "We actually get a lot of couples to join us at our workshops, and one thing that I've heard everyone say is that ordinary dating has been there like a stagnant weekend plan of movie and a meal. Experiences only help them do something different together. For some couples, it's the excitement of knowing one another better, while for some, it's trying something new together and actually spending time. A bonus with painting is that you don't realise that you haven't seen your phone at all in more than two hours."
Ease into the 'getting to know each other' phase
Industry experts feel that such dates are definitely more expansive and help in getting to know each other better.
Anirudh Motwani explains, "It is because, beyond the poise and perfection of exploring an art gallery, you see what the other person is like when they are actually working on their own painting. Are they obsessed with what they're making? Indifferent? Able to strike a balance between having fun and making a nice painting? Getting agitated with the mess? Happy to interact with others?"
Adding to this, Aarti Chawla shares, "Energetically speaking, each person is in his/her body to perform the activity/tour and hence more aware of the experience with the date. There are no what, why, or when questions like an interview or an audition, which may make it mundane and boring. The guards are down, and the partners open up and expand energetically."
Such dates are also great for dodging the initial awkwardness by delving into shared interests.
"It's like a crash course in understanding each other's quirks, especially for those shy introverts," says Vineet Arora.
Not just for new couples
Experiential dates not only help make new couples comfortable, but such outings are also good for couples who wish to reignite their romance.
Alisha goes on to share, "In our workshops, we've had couples of all ages and genders join in. And I wasn't surprised when I heard so many new parents or people with stressful jobs say 'this is our first date in months/years, and we've actually paid attention to each other while drinking, painting, and having fun'."
"I think it's not only rekindling old romances but also making couples more social. They see these as a recurring date night idea just for that reason," she adds.
Embracing novel experiences and expressing affection through small gestures during these activities serve as a catalyst for revitalising the relationship. By trying new things, you may get to know a side of your long-term partner that you were never aware of; an artistic side, or a creative side. And we all know that it is also a good way to spend quality time together.
However, Anirudh Motwani feels that while some couples do use such dates to bring in excitement, others do it because a berry picking or flamenco dancing activity which would require a European holiday is now accessible within town for a fraction of the time and cost.
Before you plan an experiential date, remember...
- Keep an open mind and leave your judgements at the door. Gender stereotypes often hinder individuals from exploring creative workshops. "Many participants who've been dragged in by their partners, are surprised by how much fun they have and how much closer they feel to their partner," says Vineet Arora.
- Plan the date after your date/partner consents to it. You must choose a place of their liking and not something they might have a total aversion to.
- Prioritise your partner's experience, as no one wants to be with someone who is so enamoured with the activity that they feel ignored.
- This doesn't mean that you should be afraid of trying something new and exciting. And, if your partner is the one doing the planning, don't forget to keep an open mind.
- It is also a good idea to talk to your hosts. Ask any questions you might have; remember the question only sounds silly in your head.
- Also, dressing up appropriately for the place you choose is important. Keep in mind the distance and time taken to reach the place so that it's not inconvenient for anyone. Too long a date may also become boring and tiring, so look into the itinerary beforehand.
- Lastly, don't forget to enjoy the experience!